I know, I know, the title alone sounds like some kind of cruel and unusual punishment.

Like, what kind of sick and demented parents (or grandparents) would ever commence to such a heinous act?!

I thought the exact same thing, but hear me out.

 

So it was January, and as I was marking our calendar for the new year, I noticed that we had a timeshare week we had bought into years ago that was about to expire. It was either use it or lose it.

We hadn’t planned on a vacation at all, especially one in just a few short months, so I went ahead and mentioned it to my husband to see if he might know of anyone who would be interested in using the week.

“Why not us?” He uttered, reminding me that we hadn’t had a mini trip or vacation in almost two years.

“Really??? Florida??? Just us?? Well, we can’t!”

This was my initial reaction.

“There’s no way we can do Disney! Not without the kids!”

Now anyone who knows me, or our family for that matter, knows we are Disney FREAKS.

There was a period of time when our kids were younger, that we would save up and spend numerous spring breaks down at Disney World.

“You know, there are things to do in Florida other than Disney World, right? Or so I’ve been told…” My husband said chuckling.

He was right.

Of all our Florida trips, we had yet to even step foot on the sands of a Florida beach. We literally knew nothing of the state, other than rolling into town, usually late, making a quick trip to Walmart for the weekly consumables and heading to bed, only to wake at sunrise, pack the backpacks and hit the pearly gates of Disney World when they opened.

“You know people go to Florida all the time and bypass Disney…” He reminded me.

“Well, we absolutely can’t do Disney! Period.”

He agreed, and then reminded me it was his birthday during those days of timeshare expiration, and that he would love nothing more than to get away…

How was I supposed to argue that??

 

I thought about it for awhile and realized we could totally do this!

And ya know what?  It might even be RELAXING!

I will admit, as much as I LOVE Disney World, it is far from a relaxing vacation, or at least the way we do it. We’re up with the sun and don’t leave the parks until the last firework has exploded, the magical music stops and the “cast members” are politely ushering us out of the park.

Fun and exciting, but far from relaxing.

Relaxing would be good.

Just merely paying a visit to the sunshine state certainly didn’t warrant a visit to see the “Big Cheese,” even though my six-year-old granddaughter did give us her blessing, adding, “Well NeNe, if it were me, and I were in Florida, I’d certainly make time to go see Mickey Mouse!”

Not this time.

Nope.

I even went as far as asking a few friends that were “Florida regulars” for some suggestions on what to do while there.

Before we knew it, our mini vaca had arrived!

 

Packing for this Florida trip was a bit different, as I didn’t have to worry with the usual “Disney necessities,” which normally would consist of at least four to five Disney attire outfits, including a Jack Sparrow tee and another of the Mouse himself, a backpack filled with all the park survival gear such as hand sanitizer, antibacterial wipes, and of course those invaluable dollar-store rain ponchos, in the event of a Disney downpour and as to avoid having to purchase those souvenir Mickey ponchos that run about ten times as much.

Yes, this time the load would be much lighter.

Instead, the suitcase would carry only a couple pairs of shorts, my bikini, and a Mary Higgins Clark novel that I had been wanting to start for months.

I was excited! The sand, the pool, the sun! My pale complexion longed for even the modest tan line.

 

And there he was….  Everywhere…

 

As with any theme park area, the closer we got to Orlando, the more those enticing billboards with the world-famous rodent began to appear.

My husband and I just reaffirmed to each other how nice it was going to be not fighting the crowds and  lines, and simply just reclining and resting in the tranquility of the Florida rays.

The signs became more frequent, one introducing Disney’s newest attraction, “The World of Avatar” where on one of the rides, “Avatar’s Flight of Passage” you fly through the Pandora world on a Banshee.

Still, we weren’t gonna cave.

And then came the billboards of the tried-and-true rides, including my favorite, “The Hollywood Tower of Terror.”

Been there, done that, and literally got the tee shirt.

A humorous comment was made between the two of us, and then the conversation quickly shifted to trying to avoid paying all the toll roads.

Not that I would dare admit it to my husband, but here and now I’m not gonna lie, deep down those billboards were doing their dirty-work inside me, but there was NO WAY I would step foot inside the Magic Kingdom, or any of the other parks, without the younglings!

This was on a Friday.

On Saturday we took it easy. We made our Walmart trip, sat by the pool and did some reading.

It was nice.

And then came the question of, “What are we gonna do tomorrow?”

We decided that we would drive to one of the area beaches and spend the day.

After planning that big decision, we decided to get dressed and go to a local buffet for a bite to eat.

There too, surrounding us from each aisle of the steaming hot food lines, was no escaping!

Kids, parents, senior citizens, all of them, arraying garbs of either Mickey, Minnie, or one of the many princesses, as if they were being paid by Walt himself to lure us in with this tantalizing bait.  It was clear we were one of the minority, not sporting a cartoon character on our chest. I said nothing, pretending not to notice.

Our dinner conversation quickly became distracted when a bright-eyed toddler sitting across from us, insisted on giggling and flashing her adorable eyelashes my way as if to catch and keep my attention, all while dolled up in a charming little Cinderella dress…

Give-us-a-flippin-break Walt!!!

Glancing away from the toddler, my husband locking his eyes into mine with that whole Rico Suave kinda trance, said,

“Ya know, we’ve always wanted to take our time at Epcot… No kids to park hop and rush around with… no time schedule… no-”

“No Disney!” I interrupted.  “We vowed we wouldn’t go!”

“Ok. Well, what about just for a day?” Those piercing green eyes magnetically drawing me in, as if he was on “Team Walt” too.

“Just me and you, at Epcot, taking our time… Come on…”

And then he pulled the birthday card again.

I reluctantly agreed to go with him to the discount ticket office where we had always gotten our tickets at a very reasonable price, if only just to investigate the cost of a one day ticket…

Approaching the counter, we met a very friendly twenty-something ticket peddler who was trained in explaining all the ticket and vacation options.

We would listen and then step away from the counter for several minutes to confer, before returning back to the counter and stepping away again.

“We have no children with us, you see, so this calls for much discussion.” I said, as we stepped away from the counter yet again, the ticket peddler’s twenty-something eyes robotically moving from myself to my husband and back to me again, while she continued to maintain that agreeable nod and plastered permanent Mattel-sort-of-Barbie- smile that never left her face.

I was still attempting to stand firm on refusing to visit Walt’s wonderland, but the birthday boy persisted, and somehow, we walked away with a three-day pass, but at a pretty good price I will admit…

The next day, we sat on the beach while we baked in the Florida sun, and strategically planned out our three-day trip around the world.

Back at our room that night, we transformed my husband’s laptop pack into a makeshift park backpack, filling it with snacks, waters, sunscreen and hand sanitizer that I found in the depths of my purse.

The next morning, as we drove through the Magic Kingdom gates and boarded the monorail, I saw all the excited little faces that couldn’t wait to start their magical day, and my heart began to sink.

As excited as I was to spend it with Mr. persuasive green eyes who somehow managed to hypnotize me into all this, I missed our little ones, and our big ones too!

As the prerecorded announcement reminded us to keep our feet, arms and legs away from the automatic doors, a memory came to mind of my young daughter reciting the same announcement she had memorized in Spanish.

What on earth were we doing?! Going without them?!

I felt like I was sneaking out of my bedroom window after curfew, while my parents heavily slept in the other room!!! (…not that I’ve ever done this, just a simple situation used to illustrate the mixture of conflicting emotions I was feeling at the time…)

We quickly followed the crowd to the entrance gate.

All around us were families.

Kids, big and small.

I quickly scanned the crowd to try and find just one more couple that opted to do the same dirty deed we were about to execute.

I saw none.

My husband laughed at my panicked state as if he knew exactly what I must be thinking.

And then, the very people standing right behind us, an older couple in their late sixties to early seventies I’m guessing, looked as if to be by themselves.  I observed them for only a split second, and before I could process my inner thoughts, they quickly spewed out of my mouth.

“Are you two here alone?!”

My husband laughing all the while.

“Yes, just us two!” The elderly lady said cheerily.

Feeling a need to explain my sudden outburst to the couple, my husband disclosed that this was our first visit without any children.

“Oh honey,” the lady said consoling me with one hand on my shoulder as if she’d been down this very road before, “It’s great without the kids and grandkids! We actually come all the time! We’re annual ticket holders!”

“Really?!” I asked, just to confirm her statement.

“Yes! We were here just last week, and a few weeks before that! We live less than an hour away and come very frequently, especially during the week when the lines are shorter!”

At last, I felt like I was finally “given permission,” so to speak. I felt as if sneaking out of the window every now and again, well, might be ok…

As we headed down Main Street I gradually became teary-eyed, which is nothing new for me in Magic Kingdom surroundings, but as soon as the castle came into view, all those thoughts of guilt, shame and longing for a little one’s hand to hold vanished as quick as a flash of Tinker Bell’s wand!

Overcome by the magic, I pulled out my phone and began snapping pictures. As we entered Adventureland, who else but the one-and-only Jack Sparrow, was being introduced with his side-show pirate shenanigans.

I quickly switched my camera to video, and was capturing his piracy antics on my phone, when, being the technology-savvy person that I am NOT, accidently sent the video directly to my facebook…

I didn’t realize I had done this until I received a text from my daughter a couple hours later asking where I was.

“In Florida?!”

My response was true after all, not realizing what a dingbat thing I had done via social media.

Of course, we would tell the children, but when the time was right, and now was not the time… we were in line for Pirates of the Caribbean!

We took time to leisurely stop and smell the flowers, literally.

It just so happened to be Disney’s International Flower & Garden Festival.

We did things that we hadn’t done in years!!

The Swiss Family Robinson Treehouse was a lot cooler than I remembered, and The Hall of Presidents wasn’t as bad as the kids made it out to be, it was actually quite entertaining!

We even noticed a few displays along the ride wait lines that we had missed years prior as we were spending time reassuring sobbing and distraught kids and grandkids alike, that all the ghosts in the Mansion were actually “friendly,” and that none of them really ends up traveling home with you.

The Railroad was fun, Splash Mountain even funner.

My husband won Buzz Lightyear’s Space Ranger Spin, but on the same note, I was just busy taking it all in, and really wasn’t trying my hardest to defeat Zurg…

We also met several couples, our age and older, that were doing Disney together, their own way. One couple explained that they planned to eat and drink their way through Epcot. Another couple that happened to ride “It’s a Small World” with us (and yes it’s still one of my favorites) were actually visiting all the way from Australia to spend time together in Disney. Disney World just for kids?! Poppycock!!!

It was later in the day as we were enjoying an afternoon delight, (a Dole Whip, that is) that I received a text from my son in response to a check-in text I had sent him earlier.

“So you’re at Disney?” It read.

As I pondered what to say, a second text came in,

“Next to Aladdin’s Magic Carpets, specifically??”

Dang you, friend finder!!! Technology will be the death of me!!!

The kids took it well, and both, as well as my husband, who, by the way, just so happened to have packed one of his Mickey Mouse shirts by “coincidence,” admitted they knew a Disney trip, if only a short one, would be on this horizon. They obviously know me, apparently better than I know myself!

During our three-day excursion, we also enjoyed a brief walk through the butterfly garden,  appreciated each window dressed in displays as only Disney can do, and even found time to share an evening turkey leg on a park bench while people watching, viewing numerous parents carrying strollers, shopping bags and overtired and sleeping children on their backs, as they exited the park.

We did ironically get caught in a major Disney downpour where those missing dollar store ponchos would have certainly come in handy. But now, looking back, and also being the proud owners of two official Walt Disney World rain ponchos that served as our only souvenirs, things couldn’t have worked out any better!

I mean, where else can you spend your birthday in the backseat of a 1950’s hot rod eating a hamburger, get dropped several stories in a maintenance service elevator, and meet Chewbacca and a couple storm troopers, all in one day??

Oh, and kids, remember that hard-to-find character greeting spot that’s hidden deep in Epcot with NO LINES or WAITING that you NEVER wanted to take the time to find as it probably wasn’t “anyone exciting,” anyway??

Walt Disney World.

Childish you say?

Not much of a romantic getaway for two, you argue?

These two overgrown kids beg to differ!