Ahhhh, Black Friday.

The joyous, long awaited day of shopping that officially kicks-off the holiday season of spending.

But the words “Black Friday” have always just seemed so drab and negative to me.

In my mind, I picture a large mushroom cloud hovering above, while dozens- thousands- no millions of us, run scrambling and rushing in different directions, screaming in pure chaos…

“Black Friday!!!”

When you think about it… I mean, minus the mushroom cloud and all.

I always thought, why not rename it something more Christmas-y or cheerful like, “Glitter, Sparkle Friday?” or “Save-A-Ton-O-Money Friday?”

But, BLACK Friday…

I don’t feel like it’s a day of shopping, but more a day of mourning…

But there’s a reason why the day after we stuff our bellies fatter than the turkey himself, is called “Black Friday.”

“Black Friday,” they say, originally got its name in the 1960’s from all the congestion created by shoppers the day after Thanksgiving. Later, it was defined as the day retailer’s accounts went from “being in the red” to “being in the black” because of sale increases.

I can remember my first ever “Black Friday” shopping experience…

It was my first Christmas as a mom!! I was so excited!

This year I got to aid “the fat man” on his toy shopping spree!

I had arranged for a babysitter to watch my nine-month-old daughter, and headed out to the local Walmart to take advantage of the sales.

Being only nine-months-old on her first Christmas, it’s not like she had a “Santa List,” so basically it was all up to me.

I remember taking my time and browsing the toddler toy aisle, carefully examining each one and imagining what my little daughter’s reaction to it might be.

I had finally settled on two gifts.

In my basket was a “Baby’s First Baby Doll,” or something close to that title, and another toy.

I remember becoming teary-eyed at the thought of being so thankful that I had been given this opportunity to play “Santa” for the first time!

I was literally loving every single second of it.

Still wondering through the toy section, I reached up to select another toy off the shelf and as I went to place it in my basket, I noticed that the “Baby’s First Baby Doll” was gone?!!!

Gone??!

Without thinking, I looked under my basket ignorantly, as if there could have possibly been an unnoticed hole in the strong metal grate that made up the basket’s bottom.

Then it hit me….

Someone had taken it when I wasn’t looking!

Someone had reached into my basket while I was captivated with the whole “first Santa shopping experience” and baby-napped the baby doll!!

Seriously?!

How DARE some other shopper step on my precious Christmas shopping moment and squash it like bug?!

I glanced around the store peering into all the nearby baskets.

None contained a “Baby’s First Baby Doll.”

The thief must have quickly grabbed it and fled the scene!

I went back to the location where I found the doll. There was nothing on the shelves but emptiness where all the “Baby’s First Baby Dolls” had sat minutes before.

An anger quickly swept over me that I wouldn’t have thought possible just moments before during my Christmas shopping blissfulness.

To this day, I often wonder what kind of person would have the audacity to be bold enough to reach into a newly established mom’s shopping basket while she was consumed and filled with the magic of the holiday season, and snatch her daughter’s “Baby’s First Baby Doll?”

The one that wears a sinister sneer while rubbing their hands together briskly and breaking out into an  ever-so-evil laugh that makes you cringe when you hear it.

The one that was, no doubt, responsible for the “Black Friday” mushroom cloud…

I went out “Black Friday” shopping a few more times, the last time being more than a decade ago while we were visiting family out of town. That was about it.

Since then, my husband and I would scour the Thanksgiving Day ads and target items and stores, and if there was something that appealed to us, he would be the one to go out and tackle the madness. He didn’t mind.

We then wised up and started shopping online on “Cyber Mondays.”

I’m not trying to lure you into my dark mushroom cloud of doom and gloom, but “Black Friday” shopping isn’t for everyone, me included.

People do get nuts out there…

Over the years there have been reports of shoppers and employees being trampled in the midst of midnight and early morning store openings.

The stats are out there, just read ‘em.

There have also been reports of auto accidents from drivers falling asleep at the wheel after little to no sleep, combined with a full day of shopping.

One incident that was reported in a Los Angeles store in 2011 involved twenty people who were pepper sprayed by a woman shopper. It was described as a case of “competitive shopping.”

Really?!

Just to save an extra five bucks off the game system little junior wanted?

To top it all off, retailers are now opening their doors on Thanksgiving Day, which is cutting into the family time that traditionally makes the famed turkey dinner what it is.

As I was checking out of Walmart the other day, my clerk told me he was actually one of the “chosen ones” to have to work on Thanksgiving. He felt guilty that his family had to rearrange their dinner to fit his schedule.

Now, don’t get me wrong people, I am not bashing “Black Friday” shopping or anything,  I’m just saying if you choose to go out there and shop on the “Friday de Noir,” just be careful and be smart about it.

Be well rested,

Keep the pepper spray at home,

Be mindful of those sneaky “doll snatchers” who may be lurking nearby,

And lastly, don’t rush out on Aunt Bea’s pumpkin pie.

Let’s not forget what the Thanksgiving holiday is truly about.