“When we last left our story, our protagonist had just made a fool of herself in the cath lab…”

There was some conflicting information regarding the catheterization results. Being an optimistic person, I took this as a good thing!

One cardiologist thought that the mitral valve was still the most important issue and needed attention. Another cardiologist thought the mitral valve fell second to the new problem at hand, which was the ASD that actually needed the prompt fix.

I, being the heart expert that I am, decided they were both most likely, just fine!

After all, something that would warrant surgery would be producing obvious symptoms.

Maybe in the whole scheme of things the doctors here were overreacting! Thus, I was going to send all the new info to the heart experts in Cleveland to see what they had to say! I would almost bet that these local doctors were just being cautious, which I did appreciate, but Cleveland dealt with these matters on a far larger scale. They would be the ones to inform us that it really wasn’t as urgent as it seemed. In fact, I’ll bet nothing more than the previously prescribed yearly routines would even be needed!

Yes, that was it! I was sure of it!

Boy, would I be glad when all this craziness was far behind me!

A few weeks later, my phone rang with “Dr. Cleveland” on the other extension.

I was, once again, impressed that he took time out of his busy day to call me! Me, the healthy heart, while many other sick and weak hearts waited anxiously outside his office on him to finish this simple phone call of good news and closure. Those poor souls…

That’s the trouble with me.

I have the ability to convince myself of anything that I want to hear so when things go south I usually go south too, and I’m unfortunately not talking about Disney World!

I heard every word including his greeting asking how I was doing this afternoon etc, up until I heard the word “surgery.”

It was at this point that Dr. Cleveland’s voice started to transform into Charlie Brown’s teacher.

Surgery?! But you are the EXPERT?! I was COUNTING on YOU to make this better?!  To tell ‘em here at home that “aw, it’s not so bad!” But it’s bad? Bad enough for you to say the word surgery, too!?

Come to find out the conflicting cardiologists here at home were both right. It was time to address the mitral valve and the hole, and within “3-6 months.” We were still on my cardiologist’s original timeline.

The Homework Assignment

I never liked homework and this was certainly no exception.

Dr. Cleveland gave me information on two top notch surgeons to research that dealt with the repair of mitral valves. He felt that repair there in Cleveland was more doable and would possibly rule out a valve replacement.  The ASD would be repaired as well.

He also gave me a list of a couple YouTube videos to watch with my husband: one being on the traditional sternotomy surgery, the other on the robotic surgery approach.

He then told me a nurse would be calling soon to tentatively schedule appointments.

Well that didn’t go as planned…

 

Once my husband came home he convinced me that we should work on my “homework” and watch the videos rather than our nightly episodes of fictional TV programs where we could escape into other people’s melodramas.

Both recommended surgeons seemed top notch and very friendly. Next it was time for the surgery videos.

First was the description of the heart-lung machine.

I totally lost it.

“Cut it off!” I cried hysterically. I had not shouted these words since my cousin made me watch “The Exorcist” when I was twelve.

“Did you really think they could work on your heart while it was beating?” My husband asked.

This was something I personally chose not to ponder, thanks.

I physically felt like I would vomit.

The first thing that came to my mind was that chick in “Bates Motel.” The one that had cystic fibrosis. In the episode where she’s getting the lung transplant I remember thinking, “wow the heart-lung machine is the only thing keeping her going during that transplant.” Little did I know.. (and I mean that literally now. It pays to get informed instead of basing your knowledge on horror shows.)

While overall the homework DID inform me, I began to look past it. Instead of viewing this surgery as a preventive measure to prolong my already healthy life, I viewed it as an upcoming death sentence.

I began to feel like one of those weak, sick hearts that was waiting on the other side of Dr. Cleveland’s door.

Distraction is a good thing….

I tried to stay distracted and one of my favorite ways of distracting myself is writing.

I had contacted an old classmate who had recently started a blog, something that I had on the back burner of my mind for years. She agreed to lunch.

We weren’t close in school, but once the table conversation of writing started, there was a consistent and energizing flow!

Yay for distractions!!!

Just as I was deeply intrigued, my cell phone went off with the location identifying as “Cleveland, Ohio.”

I apologized and told her I had to take it.

It was the scheduling nurse Dr. Cleveland had warned me about.  She was calling to schedule my consult appointments, pre-surgical testing and surgery.

Hold up!! What?! I thought it would be a consult appointment ONLY at first!

She suggested late January which was a little over a month away.

My heart started racing, more than normal.

“Ok Val, get it together. Don’t lose it in front of the old classmate!”

My reply, “January would be great!”

(NOT!!!!!)

“Can I get your number should I need to reschedule?”

Lunch soon ended and I left driving to the nearest shopping center where I called my husband in total hysterics!

“I’m not just going up there on the fly to get surgery!! I need to talk to the doctors!” (Even though I pretty much had).

I needed to do these things in steps so I could process it all! That’s how MY brain works!

And January?! That wouldn’t work! What about snow and winter?! Hazardous driving from Cleveland and back?? February was still wintry and that was my son’s birthday, I couldn’t miss that! And March?! March was my daughter’s birthday month! That was out of the question!

The list went on.

It was clear there was absolutely no possible time to do this heart surgery! I just couldn’t fit it in! And the longer I waited, the better (in my mind)!

My husband suggested I call the nurse back and ask if we could have the consult appointments with Dr. Cleveland and the surgeon in January and then decide when to plan the surgery.

The rest of December I managed to keep myself busy. I had planned a big family get together at our home forcing me to spend every waking hour cleaning, decorating and shopping and NOT thinking about heart surgery!

That was until God intervened sending a sweet grandmother my way.

She will be referred to as :

“Angel #1”

He has a way of showing up when you least expect Him, doesn’t He??

I must have found an extra span of hours because I also volunteered to help with a community Christmas children’s event our church was hosting.

I arrived on that Saturday morning. I decorated, helped set up crafts, cupcakes and packages. Once the event was in full swing, I sat down and found my mind beginning to wonder into the cold, surgical walls of an operating room.

My mental scenario was interrupted when a petite, older lady approached me and asked me where the drinks were located. I asked what she would like and brought it to her. She thanked me and soon we began talking about granddaughters of all things! She explained that she had brought her granddaughter out to the event and was so glad she did! She said it had been the first time she had been out to drive since her heart surgery a little over a month ago…

WAIT!! HOLD THE PHONE?!!

HEART SURGERY?!

And you’re ALIVE?!

She, too, had needed heart surgery due to a valve issue, had it replaced AND lived to tell the story!

But wait, that’s not all! Her husband ALSO had heart surgery six months earlier, and guess what?!

HE LIVED TOO!!!!

Oh wow!! This was AWESOME!!!

We spoke for the remainder of the event, her telling me every detail and even showing off her scar to prove it!

Had God specifically placed me at that community event to volunteer?

Certainly He did!

But did He have ulterior motives?

Without a doubt! And I was so thankful!!

As the lady left with her granddaughter, she thanked me and thanked the church for blessing them during this Christmas season.

I thanked her and told her I was the blessed one.

Two survivors… well what do ya  know?

Maybe there was hope for me after all…